Ask Andy: Can I be friends with my ex?


Dear Andy,

I am recently divorced and have a great relationship with my ex. The problem is all my friends and family say we are too close, that divorced couples cannot be friends. What do you think Andy? Can I be friends with my ex?

Sincerely,

Friends


Dear Friend,


Kudos to you. I think it’s great that you and your ex can remain friends, especially if you have children. I cannot see a problem with it if each of your significant others do not care. There are pluses to remaining friends with your ex. You know each other better than anyone and can help to keep each other from making the same mistakes. Your children will learn from your example on how to treat others. It shows maturity, and you can become great friends.


There is a downside though. Friendships with exes can cause problems in current relationships. It’s best to be open and upfront with anyone you or your ex may be interested in having a relationship with; explain that you are friends and that you want to let them be aware of the type of relationship you have with your ex. Also, be careful about being too intimate with your ex. It can be misleading and can cause unnecessary issues. The past can also get in the way of the future. Be careful about rehashing old stuff. Let us not forget about the green-eyed monster; jealously is an intense emotion and even though it may seem like you are fine with your ex seeing other people, it can and will still hurt.


So yes, you can be friends with an ex… It just takes a lot of work and a lot of maturity on everyone’s part. Just take it one day at a time and handle it like you would any other friendship, remember you get out of it what you put into it.


As always, I, Andy, am here to help with your everyday problems. If you want honest advice to any problem, issue, or question, let me help. I’m a local resident with a sociology degree from Georgia Southern. Send your problems to askandy571@gmail.com and I will help you solve them!

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