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Ask Andy: Can I be friends with my ex?

Dear Andy,

It seems like everyone I know has their life together: moving forward, getting married, having babies, new jobs, travel, etc. Meanwhile, I’m over here leading my same life going nowhere. Andy, I feel so left behind… What do I need to do?


Left Behind

Dear Left Behind,

I have learned over the years that regardless of the situation, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. I’ve also learned to watch where I walk because you never know what they are using to fertilize their grass with.

The first thing I’d do is figure out why you are feeling left behind. Is it work, marriage, babies, or are you just bored and are ready for a change? Don’t sit around whining and crying about what you don’t have or haven’t done. Take new opportunities as they come. It’s as simple as saying “yes” to something you’d normally turn down. Take some risk, step out of your comfort zone and live a little, get productive, do something to feel better, choose something you feel left behind about, and work on it. What do you actually want? Have you honestly sat down and thought about what you want in your life and from your life? Just because all your friends are getting married and having babies doesn’t mean it’s right for you at this moment. Never let indecision, boredom, or other people dictate what you do or where you go in life. What excites you? Is it work? Then throw yourself into it! Get that promotion, ask for a raise, do something to move forward. If travel excites you, plan a trip or do something for yourself. You don’t have to follow the crowd.

Sometimes the feeling of being left behind is because we are bored with life in general. It’s easy to get in a rut and find ourselves stuck there for years. Take a good look at what you want for yourself. Look at where you were last year versus this year. Was there growth? Are you excited to start your day? Are you where you wanted to be in life? If the answer is no, make some changes. Take others’ lives with a grain of salt. Don’t compare your life to theirs. If we spent as much time focusing on our own lives as we do other people’s (where the grass is “greener”), our lives would already be better.

Embrace the life you have! Cultivate it, grow it, make changes, take risks. Just live it to your fullest extent! Don’t wish for someone else’s life. That’s their dream. Create your own. Take chances. Grab opportunities as they come up. Do something outside your comfort zone. You only get one go around at this thing called life, so make sure you make the most of it and live it to the fullest.

As always, I, Andy, am here to help with your everyday problems. Navigating personal relationships can be taxing, especially to your own mental health. Just remember to stay true to yourself and most things will work out for the best.

If you want honest advice to any problem, issue, or question, let me help. I’m a local resident with a sociology degree from Georgia Southern. Send your problems to askandy571 and I will help you solve them!