Ok, let’s call this the “wrap” edition. You’ve made it to the 27-yard line. There are just 4 seconds left in the big “final quarter of the year”. So now, before 2023 ends, let’s wrap up some loose ends. First of all, BIG thanks to the Swainsboro City Fire Department for the an-nual “official arrival of Santa” aboard the Best Doggone Decorated Christmas Firetruck in the United States of America. What could be better than Santa and the parade coming right by your house? If you are missing out on this Christmas Eve tradition, put it on your 2024 calendar right now, and don’t miss another one. Next, let’s get down to a little busi-ness. Have you kept all the Christmas present receipts to get the sizes and colors straight-ened out for everybody? My advice is to buy donuts for the lady at the return counter. Now, I really hate to bring it up, but what about those taxes, donations, deductions, prepayments and all the other “figuratively-speaking” four letter words that accountants use? Have you taken care of all that? Well, cheer up, and don’t let it get you down. At least your W2 doesn’t say “Hunter Biden”.
So, this week is when all the big media outlets make their predictions for the coming year. They have all done extensive research, conducted surveys, and interviewed famous University professors to compile an insightful and highly informed look at what will happen in 2024. Likewise, here locally, we have our own groups of insightful and highly informed commentators. We interviewed the senior members of “the breakfast bunch” at a well-known eatery, as well as the morning coupon clipper’s club gathered outside the Post Office, and also a group of seasoned High School graduates from around the county who were vot-ed “Most likely to Succeed” back in 1959 to 1968. Regarding the Presidential election, CNN and the New York Times predict that Donald Trump will be convicted of “something” in 2024, but Republicans will nominate him anyway. Our local group’s response on this issue was complete shock that the New York Times and CNN had ever agreed on anything with anybody. The next prediction came from Forbes magazine and the Washington Post who said that urbanization will continue to increase next year and will mean that younger work-ers will work less and work remotely which will mean that more retirees will have to go back and work ‘til they’re 80. Our local group’s response to that prediction could not be printed here and is now under investigation by the Chuck Schumer Senate subcommittee on bad words. MSNBC and the Los Angeles Times predict that climate change is destroying our fragile native vegetation and insect populations and endangering the future of the world. In a surprising twist, our local panel members agreed with MSNBC and voiced complete and full support for the continued endangerment and destruction of poison ivy, kudzu, sand-spurs, mosquitos, gnats, and those things that grow about a foot a day from a bulb in the ground during spring and summertime. The full report entitled “Chicken Little or Chicken Feed” may be available in future editions of this newspaper. . .or it may not. As a final comment, the “Most Likely to Succeed” group gathered at the beer store wanted to suggest to our readers that they follow the same advice the young, hopeful, students took many years ago when they selected their class song: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. HAPPY NEW YEAR for a great 2024 to EVERYONE!